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I won't bore you with the endless stories of the white people who cross the street when they see my boyfriend walking by, or the countless women who clutch their purses tightly as he passes.Nor shall I waste your time retelling how folks watch him like a hawk when we enter a store, while I could be walking out with half the inventory tucked under my shirt and no one seems to care.You will hear everything from, "I have black friends" to "I voted for Obama" as evidence of their inclusive viewpoints.Yet, in the five years that I have been with my black partner, I have been amazed by the profoundly different ways in which each of us is treated in similar situations.I’m quickly approaching my 25th birthday and have come to the realisation that I’ve never been in a long-term relationship. That's not uncommon among millennials, but as a Black gay man, I've begun to wonder how my race has affected my chances of finding love.

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He waits until he meets someone to reveal his real name and racial/ethnic identity because men sometimes stop talking to him when they find out he’s partly Indian.On the other hand, I equally refuse to delve into the Facebook post an African-American friend of mine recently wrote where he stated that a black man dating a white man is the ultimate slap in the face to black culture.The social politics of race has been a long sore subject in the gay community, especially among Black same-gender-loving and same-ethnic-relationship oriented men.interviewed three very affluent and very eligible gay men to discuss the complications of dating a gay or bisexual man.After doing a story a few months ago on women who are open to dating bisexual men, we learned there were quite a few Black women comfortable with dating openly bisexual men but very few women were open to discussing it publicly.As a gay white man and drag queen who is engaged to an African-American man, my interracial same-sex relationship has given me unique insight into the fundamental mistrust, and often subconscious disdain, that people have for anyone different from themselves.Ask almost any white person in America and they will tell you straight out that they are not racist.Another person I know is Black but has self-identified as mixed-race on Grindr because he gets little attention when he identifies himself as Black.And the attention he does receive for identifying as Black isn’t favorable – it’s frequently unsolicited and racialized.In the world of gay online dating, your race affects your romantic and sexual connections, whether your potential partners realize it or not.Systems of oppression based on race sometimes pressure queer men of color to lie about or hide their racial/ethnic identity in online dating spaces like Grindr in order to get positive romantic and sexual attention.

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